the MIND less FULL

Reasons to be cheerful (part 3)

Wednesday 19th August 2020

I write this post first & foremost as a reminder to myself, having found myself being dragged into the negativity vortex over the past few months. In my defence (and yours) it’s been hard not to. Bad news has wallpapered our lives from dusk ‘til dawn, feeding our highly evolved negativity bias.

The ever-vigilant brain, thanks to our trusty amygdala, detects negative information quicker than it does positive information – keeping us safe from threat by drawing our attention to the difficult, the stressful, the unpleasant encounters, the challenging and the distressing more easily. It explains why we recall & replay the one stupid thing we said that day, the faux-pas, the toothpaste mark on our top we don’t notice until too late…. and ignore anything good that might have happened. Whilst obviously a beneficial survival mechanism, it does mean we are prone to slide over the positive and the pleasant.

The good news is – whilst we can't (and wouldn't want to) erase this bias from existence, we can do something to tame how much we choose to focus on it. We can actually teach ourselves to over-ride the negativity bias to a certain extent through the practice of gratitude.

The power of gratitude has got some good press lately, with slogans compelling us to be grateful regularly featuring on social media posts and t-shirts. Adopt the attitude of gratitude. But with good reason. Research suggests that training ourselves to focus on what we are grateful for can improve physical as well as psychological wellbeing, improve self-esteem, sleep, enhance empathy & reduces aggression.

Demonstrating gratitude not only can improve our own happiness, but can benefit the wellbeing of others. It can improve existing relationships & help to foster new ones as well as having the same benefits for those receiving the appreciation as to those giving it. In terms of social contagion – expressing gratitude and thanks to others can be ‘catching’. In the same way we can catch and pass on the negative emotions of others – the same is true of passing on positive emotions. Spread a little happiness as you go by.

Gratitude isn’t just something that we should express in our personal lives – research suggests it can play an important role in the workplace making you a better manager and increased workforce productivity. Researchers exploring the impact of fostering a culture of appreciation in the workplace states that gratitude should not be treated as something vague and fluffy, and that ‘saying thank you matters’.

Neuroscience research also supports the idea that regular practice of gratitude can actually rewire pathways in the brain. According to science, there is a 3:1 ratio of positivity needed to overcome negativity bias. In order to flourish you need 3 times more focus on positive than negative, whilst this includes experiencing other emotion such as joy, hope, & amusement – practicing gratitude has one of the strongest correlations with happiness.

In order to train ourselves to see the positive we have to start practicing it on a daily basis. Rather than scheduling ‘positive moments of happiness’, such as nights out (or in) or big ticket purchases, seeing the happiness and joy in everyday moments is the starting point for cultivating gratitude. We need to turn the volume up on the ordinary.

Some suggestions of how to do this include:

• Write down 3 things you are grateful for. Writing has a more powerful impact than thinking alone. Choose a set time of day to encourage the habit, last thing at night and first thing in the morning are good times. This list can include the tiniest of things, such as a good cup of coffee,
• Reframe your thinking throughout the day - focus on the ‘I get to’ instead of the ‘I have to’ . This can make folding the washing a little bit more enjoyable.
• Gratitude Jar. Keep an old jam jar in your kitchen, make a note of what you are grateful and pop it into the jar. Encourage full family participation. Open it when its full and appreciate the moments again.
• Practice saying thank you and really meaning it – say it out loud, write it in letters, in cards, in emails, in texts, in tweets.

If you are stuck for inspiration during these difficult times how about turning to the lyrics of the 1979 song, Reasons to be Cheerful (part 3) by Ian Dury & the Blockheads for inspiration?. Dury wrote this song after a near-fatal accident involving a lighting roadie and the list of reasons to be cheerful include:

 Buddy Holly
 Equal Voting rights
 Generosity & politeness
 Yellow socks
 Carrot juice
 Wine
 Elvis
 Cheddar cheese & pickle sandwiches
 Saying okey dokey.

If psychology , neuroscience, & feelgood mugs don’t convince you of the power of gratitude –the refrain of the song just might: 'Reasons to be cheerful, one, two, three'. If that doesn’t persuade you to write down 3 things you are grateful for, I don’t know what will.

Whilst we can not shy away from the bad, tolerate difficult situations, play down our fears and anxieties, speak out about our doubts & worries, or speak up against injustice, for the sake of our well-being and that of others, we must also train ourselves to pay attention to the good. Recognise the tiniest moments of joy, the things that truly matter, that which we are grateful for.

Much of our time and energy is spent worrying, ruminating and focussing on potential negative threats. The past few months have been so very difficult - but let's hope we walk away with a new found gratefulness for the many things we previously took for granted. Let us keep on cultivating it. Let us refocus our priorities and appreciate the people and things we have right here, right now.

I shall leave you with my list of 3 things I am grateful for today:

- Potatoes
- Finding a portion of chickpea curry in the freezer that I can defrost for my tea
- Everyone who read to the end of my little blog.

Thank you ❤