the MIND less FULL

Ain't no Period Drama...

Sunday 16th May 2021

I am thinking that many of you might start reading this blog, get to the word menopause and think ‘its not for me!’. If you are however: • A woman • Know any women Then I suggest you read on. Anyone who has ever been through puberty knows just how much it can cause chaos in terms of the way we think, feel & behave. Remember the turmoil of those teenage years? Likewise pregnancy. Both of these major life stages are fuelled by hormones rampaging, and characterised by physical changes & psychological difficulties experienced as a result of changing bodies and minds. They are also well documented. Menopause however has long been cloaked in secrecy and mystery, shrouded with a bit of embarrassment. The preserve of ‘old ladies’ and something not to discuss at the dinner table (or anywhere for that matter). Average female life expectancy in the UK is 83 years. If perimenopause symptoms begin at roughly age 40, with menopause following around 10 years later – the ‘average’ women will then spend the rest of her days post menopausal. That’s over half her life in the stage we tend to call ‘menopause’. Still think it is something we shouldn’t discuss? As a psychology teacher, I don’t claim to be an expert in the field so can I start by recommending the following book: Menopocalypse by Amanda Thebe. Anyone female over the age of 38 should read this book. Every husband, boyfriend, son, father should read this book. Anyone who employs or works with people should read this book. It is the equivalent of ‘Are you there God, it’s me Margaret’ or ‘The secret diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 3/4 ‘ (the sort of book that prepares you for puberty & the teenage years, but for the menopause) In her book, Amanda charts her journey from entering her 40’s as a fitness coach living the dream, with a view that menopause was something that happened to older ladies, through the hell she affectionately describes as the Menopocalypse. At the age of 43, perimenopause hit like a tonne of bricks bringing with it all sorts of physical and psychological chaos that rampaged through the rest of her 40’s as she reached menopause, now residing at the age of 50 in postmenopause. This book will open your eyes to physical symptoms many women experience – from migraines, fatigue, weight gain, increased allergic reactions, joint pain, incontinence, insomnia, loss of libido, wrinkles & hair loss, and to the psychological impact – from brain fog, memory loss, anxiety, increased stress, depression, loss of self-esteem, rage, mood swings. What is more, these symptoms start up to 10 years BEFORE menopause and often get dismissed, ignored and not recognised by some medical professionals. She also describes ways to thrive Most of all, reading this book will make you feel normal. Validated. Seen & heard. If you are husband, partner, son, colleague, employer – it might just help you understand what is actually going on (and how often women adopt a ‘keep calm & carry on’ attitude, to the detriment of their health & sanity) Whilst not an expert in biology - I do however know a bit about stress. Stress can feature a lot during the menopausal years. Stress is both caused by physical & psychological changes during this period of our lives and is a symptom of the physical and psychological changes experienced. Now for a tiny bit of science. Stick with me. I promise to be quick. One of the main players in stress is Cortisol. Cortisol is a steroid hormone. It peaks early morning – giving us the push we need to get on with our day, and decreases on an evening, allowing us to go to sleep. It also plays a role in controlling blood sugar levels, metabolism, reduces inflammation and assists with memory formulation and regulation of the immune system. In terms of the stress response, Its function is to activate the release of glucose from the liver and supress the immune system – providing us with the energy to keep going during stressful times. So – what is the link between menopause and cortisol? Its complex. As estrogen fluctuates throughout perimenopause, high levels can lead to surges of cortisol and the body detects it as a stressor. Progesterone (another hormone) has a calming effect and acts as a buffer to cortisol – but during the menopause journey decreases. So – cortisol can spike throughout menopause, so we feel more stressed because of high cortisol in our systems and less able to cope because of low progesterone. This cortisol can then cause further chaos- disrupting sleep, increasing risk of illness due to immunosuppression, increasing vulnerability to allergic reaction, susceptibility to weight gain, digestive problems, increased anxiety, inflammation, fatigue, brain fog….the list goes on. Then… the impact of less sleep, weight gain, illness, increased anxiety and stress, inflammation, allergic reaction all make us feel more stressed…leading to an increase in cortisol & stress…and so on it goes. Add to that major life events associated with mid-life, changes in lifestyle choices as we get older around exercise, food & drink, plus the physical and psychological impact of all of these changes and we can find ourselves floating in a sea of cortisol – with stress levels rampaging Anecdotally, in a survey of my nearest and dearest friends of a similar age, they sited the following impact of the menopausal years on the way they think, feel & behave: • I look in the mirror and wonder ‘is that really me?’ • I *think* I eat healthily & exercise enough – but nothing seems to work, so that then effects my mood…and then I seek solace in chocolate & wine • Anyone else experience off the scale rage & frustration? Like you might possibly explode? • Brain fog and stopping mid-sentence… • Low mood for no reason • Exhaustion • Lack of motivation • Waking up in the early hours and not being able to go back to sleep • Drop in confidence • Increase in anxiety • Increased stress • Less ‘gumption’ to do anything • Decreased confidence linked to fat tummy • Heightened emotions • Unexplained anger • Grumpiness • Memory issues • I think I have been in denial and been in a state of ‘this doesn’t apply to me right now’. It’s dawning on me that I may be wrong…. • Sluggishness & lack of sparkle • Not bouncing back as quick as usual The good news is there is so much that can be done to help with symptoms experienced during this time – if only we know where to look for guidance. Exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress reduction, as well as medication can all help. But it all starts with awareness - We need to be talking about menopause so much more. With our friends, our families, in the workplace. On Sunday May 23rd (9am-11am CST 3-5pm UK time) I am ridiculously excited to be delivering my workshop ‘Managing menopause stress’ hosted by force of nature & Menopause Queen, Amanda Thebe. There are little easy wins utilising mindfulness techniques that you can make that help to lower cortisol and reduce stress. It will be a practical session with loads of ideas to take away and practice. I got in contact with Amanda after hearing her speak on a podcast hosted be Dr Louise Newson, discussing the menopause. Although living in Canada for 15 years and having resided in Texas for the past 5, Amanda is from the same small North East town in England as myself. The place that inspired Aldus Huxley to write ‘A Brave New World’ (which provides a good alternative title for the workshop). If anyone would like to join us - united by hormones & WiFi - places can be booked here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-less-full-workshop-managing-your-menopause-stress-tickets-154487180315 If anyone fancies reading Menopocalypse & learning more, copies are available at all major retailers or support local Stockton bookstore Drake: The bookstore. Hope that you can join us - or share with someone who might. ❤

Teenage Kicks

Friday 30th April 2021

Last week I took a step back into joining civilisation again. In the merriment of the pub beer garden, I sat in the sunshine in my party of 6 –it felt good to be back. Except it was a party of 5, 1 person was missing. My 16 year old daughter. Why? Too cool to be out with her family? Out with her mates enjoying the last few weeks before the end of her ‘official school years’? I wish. That morning, like 5 other mornings since September, she received the (socially distanced) tap on the shoulder telling her it was time for another round of isolation. By the time this ‘block’ has run its course, she will have spent a total of 62 days in the last 7 months socially isolating. That is 62 days without going for a walk. 62 days of not seeing friends and family, masked face to masked face. 62 days reliant on technology for schooling and socialising – neither of which, no matter how good, makes up for the real thing. These 62 days don’t include lockdowns. At least in lockdowns there was the 1-hour window of exercise permitted, some conversations over the hedges and gateposts and everyone was in the same sea (if not the same boat). Why has this happened? Because of where she was sat in a classroom. With a mask on. Playing catch up. Making up for losses of the past year. Something she has absolutely no control over. In terms of stress, control plays a central role in our experience. The less in control we feel, the more stress we tend to experience. It is why the pandemic, in part, has played havoc with our adrenal glands leaving us exhausted and overwhelmed. For teenagers in schools at the moment, everyday is like running the gauntlet. Never sure when they will get tripped up. She met the news with a shrug of the shoulders, asked if she could order a Chinese as she was missing out on a pub tea and settled into the task of doing a History test that might count in someway shape and form towards her GCSE grade. You know – the exam grades that they will never truly own. The qualifications they are being told are ‘really important’ that these last few weeks ‘really matter’. Just forget that you have been told you can’t go anywhere for 10 days, to cancel any plans you had made, to turn the place where you sleep and disconnect, back into your domestic classroom– compartmentalise that curve ball and ‘crack on’ activating your brain to do a test. Maslow would turn in his grave. His hierarchy of needs arranges our motivation on a continuum – basic physical and psychological needs around security and safety need to be fulfilled before we can reach the dizzy heights of self-actualisation and achieve our potential. He would be horrified at expecting someone to climb straight back up to the top of the hierarchy in a matter of minutes, and be top of their game when someone has just pulled the rug from beneath their feet. As of April 12th, in theory we gained relative freedom in terms of avoiding further isolation. The risk of being ‘tracked & traced’ is to an extent within our control. We can choose if we want to go to shops or order online. Covid guidelines mean we can get on with jobs, relatively safe in the knowledge we can keep distanced from others. If we want to socialise, we can do it outside and stay away 2m’s from others whilst enjoying a glass of wine in the sunshine. We have some control back. Our school children do not have the same level of control. Their freedom can be whisked away at any moment – and this time, they are going it alone whilst the rest of us embrace our brave new worlds. Despite the fact they are wearing masks all day long, it does not protect them from having to isolate (albeit playing a vital role in reducing transmission). They are at the mercy of the seating plan. Their position on the register. Whether they sit boy girl boy girl. No control. I have worked with teenagers for 25 years. They are a pretty amazing bunch. They are funny and loud and confident. They are shy and unsure and lacking in confidence. They are sparky and brave and fearless. They are anxious and timid and scared. At no other time in our lives do humans experience such a physical and psychological transformation. In terms of control – they are in total freefall without a parachute. Bodies change at a rapid rate, hormones rage, friendships bring out the best and the worst, emotions are big, raw and overwhelming, first loves blossom and break up, skin breaks out and voices drop, clothes don’t fit like they should, there is a pressure to do well and focus on a future they don’t even understand. We teach them to speak out and to shut up. Form an identity but fit in. All on a back wash of confidence ebbing and flowing. There is nothing stable about these years. Remember yours? Control is definitely absent. Maybe that is why they are able to roll with the punches that keep coming their way? None of this is directed at schools in any way shape or form. The school have been brilliant. Teachers have been brilliant. Neither is it political. It is not about what we should or shouldn’t be doing. It is not about comparing the sacrifices that other sectors of our society have made. This isn’t a woe is me (or her). It isn’t about my daughters, nieces, nephews, their friends, my students. It is what it is. This isn’t a post about the impact of all of this. That has been well documented in the news and in conversation. We have some great support systems in place to advise and support teen mental health. It is about taking a moment to acknowledge the sacrifices our teens are still making. The sports, the friendships, the learning, the social experiences that form such a large part of growing up that are (albeit temporary) on a sabbatical when asked to isolate (again). The ones who are coming last in the race to gain any control over their lives. It is about giving a shout out to the teenagers doing a bloomin’ amazing job of taking all of this in their stride. A metaphorical clap on the doorstep. It’s a post in praise of our youth, who so often get a bad rap. It’s about remembering that there is a whole army of kids still doing their bit. If you have any compassion to spare, send some their way. Our teenagers are still most definitely getting their kicks – just not in the way that they need to.

Not so Manic Now

Friday 12th February 2021

Multitasking has been a topic of conversation in many workshops I have delivered recently. Life, at the moment, for many people feels like one big giant juggle. I was reminded of an article I wrote some time ago and thought it might be a relevant time to share again …… For decades we have worn our multitasking badges with pride. The bigger the juggle, the bigger the badge. So, how have we fooled ourselves into thinking that multitasking is so great? Firstly, multitasking is addictive. It produces dopamine in the brain that creates a thrill - the same chemical responsible for getting people addicted to heroin and cocaine. We continue to do it as, quite frankly, there is something appealing about it. That buzz we get makes us feel accomplished. Multitasking...the drug of the Nation. Secondly, technological advancements have made multitasking possible. We now can send an email, talk on the phone, check Facebook, eat our tea, load the dishwasher and shout at the kids all at the same time. We have evolved into supreme multitasking beings. We can get things done so much quicker! Except we haven't really evolved that much, our brains and bodies still largely respond in the same way as when we lived in caves with no internet. Furthermore, technology hasn't magically freed up the time we thought it would. The down side of multitasking is that it triggers the stress response. When too many things are going on at once we go into 'alert' mode - seeking out potential threats to our survival. Cortisol and adrenaline are sent into overdrive every time we multitask, causing illness and long-term damage to the body. Multitasking also impairs our memory. People have a limited capacity to remember stuff, the more information we juggle, the less we remember. It has been suggested that multitasking actually impairs our memory more than cannabis. No wonder life often feels like it is passing in a blur. It also makes us exhausted. Trying to do lots of things at the same time uses up our energy supplies really quickly, depleting our bodies of glucose. No wonder we are all so permanently tired. Whilst you *can* focus on more than one thing at a time, it doesn't mean you *should*. Multitasking just means your attention is divided - and that you are actually underperforming rather than over-performing. Psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell has gone so far as to describe multitasking as a “mythical activity in which people believe they can perform two or more tasks simultaneously as effectively as one.' Monotasking leads to more focus, more enjoyment, more productivity, better memory, less stress and a healthier mind and body. Whilst life might be chaotic at present, trying to find at least some small opportunities to focus on the task in hand can be beneficial. So, if you're watching, just watch. If you're listening, just listen. If you're reading, just read. If you're eating, just eat. Monotasking - the new multitasking. Embrace the change with pride. Striving for the MIND less FULL. One. Step. At. A. Time.

Love Cats

Friday 11th September 2020

A little guest blog this week from the fabulous psychology teaching-feline loving-cheese scone baking-goth extraordinaire-Sarah ❤️ “The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.” – Jules Renard I was sitting outside in my back yard in the fresh air and sunshine yesterday thinking about what my new year’s resolution could be. I know it sounds strange to be pondering this in early September , but as I am a teacher my natural new year falls at the start of the glorious –ber months rather than January. My eyes fell on my two cats, Lilly and Archie, who were out enjoying the backyard with me. Lilly was intent on trying to catch a small buzzing flying creature that was just out of her reach while Archie was lying flat on his back on a warm patio slab basking in the sun. My resolution came to me – I’m going to try and live more like my cats. I know that this sounds even stranger than coming up with new year’s resolutions in late summer, but think about it. We can learn a lot from cats. Firstly, my cats – indeed, all cats – devote pretty much their whole lives to ensuring their own well-being. They sleep, eat, play and groom. If they have a particularly soft owner like me they can even get hand fed cooked chicken. Now, I am not for one moment saying that we should all just lounge around and indulge our every whim, but we do need to make sure that we take care of ourselves, both physically and psychologically. We all have our own needs that we must take care of so we can flourish in our lives. Secondly, cats are masters of being present in the moment. I love watching my cats as they sit in silence and take in the world around them, fully aware of the here and now, as evidenced by a sweet little tail thump when you say their name. They are experts at using their senses to notice their world around them, from their eyes to their ears to their noses to their whiskers. Even when they sit and close their eyes they are still present, enjoying the moment. We would do well to make the time to press pause and take this mental break from our past and future worries and concerns. This brings me on to my next point – cats don’t multitask. I am hugely guilty of playing with my cats with a wand toy in one hand while also scrolling on my phone with the other. But then I look at my cats and they are giving their complete and undivided attention to the mouse on a string. There is a lot of new research showing that multitasking and the constant bombardment of information it subjects us to can be detrimental to our health and well-being, with frequent multitaskers exhibiting memory problems, increased stress, decreased productivity and a higher likelihood of reporting symptoms of depression and social anxiety. As any cat owner will also know, cats will also let you know when they want or need something, whether that is feeding, to go outside or to cuddle on you. As humans, we often try to battle on alone due to shame or vanity or pride. But cats rightly know that asking for help is not a weakness – they ask and we help. Like our cats, we should not be hesitant in asking those in our lives for help and support when we need it. And finally, a cat lets you know when they are happy. They purr, head bunt, weave in and out of your legs, run around, meow and bring you presents. You know they are feeling happiness and joy at that moment. Are we as good at feeling and expressing our happiness? So as I come to the end of my year and reflect on the strangest and uncertain year I have ever had in my life, one thing I can be clear on of is that time spent with cats is never wasted and that next year I am going to strive to ‘be more cat’.

Reasons to be cheerful (part 3)

Wednesday 19th August 2020

I write this post first & foremost as a reminder to myself, having found myself being dragged into the negativity vortex over the past few months. In my defence (and yours) it’s been hard not to. Bad news has wallpapered our lives from dusk ‘til dawn, feeding our highly evolved negativity bias. The ever-vigilant brain, thanks to our trusty amygdala, detects negative information quicker than it does positive information – keeping us safe from threat by drawing our attention to the difficult, the stressful, the unpleasant encounters, the challenging and the distressing more easily. It explains why we recall & replay the one stupid thing we said that day, the faux-pas, the toothpaste mark on our top we don’t notice until too late…. and ignore anything good that might have happened. Whilst obviously a beneficial survival mechanism, it does mean we are prone to slide over the positive and the pleasant. The good news is – whilst we can't (and wouldn't want to) erase this bias from existence, we can do something to tame how much we choose to focus on it. We can actually teach ourselves to over-ride the negativity bias to a certain extent through the practice of gratitude. The power of gratitude has got some good press lately, with slogans compelling us to be grateful regularly featuring on social media posts and t-shirts. Adopt the attitude of gratitude. But with good reason. Research suggests that training ourselves to focus on what we are grateful for can improve physical as well as psychological wellbeing, improve self-esteem, sleep, enhance empathy & reduces aggression. Demonstrating gratitude not only can improve our own happiness, but can benefit the wellbeing of others. It can improve existing relationships & help to foster new ones as well as having the same benefits for those receiving the appreciation as to those giving it. In terms of social contagion – expressing gratitude and thanks to others can be ‘catching’. In the same way we can catch and pass on the negative emotions of others – the same is true of passing on positive emotions. Spread a little happiness as you go by. Gratitude isn’t just something that we should express in our personal lives – research suggests it can play an important role in the workplace making you a better manager and increased workforce productivity. Researchers exploring the impact of fostering a culture of appreciation in the workplace states that gratitude should not be treated as something vague and fluffy, and that ‘saying thank you matters’. Neuroscience research also supports the idea that regular practice of gratitude can actually rewire pathways in the brain. According to science, there is a 3:1 ratio of positivity needed to overcome negativity bias. In order to flourish you need 3 times more focus on positive than negative, whilst this includes experiencing other emotion such as joy, hope, & amusement – practicing gratitude has one of the strongest correlations with happiness. In order to train ourselves to see the positive we have to start practicing it on a daily basis. Rather than scheduling ‘positive moments of happiness’, such as nights out (or in) or big ticket purchases, seeing the happiness and joy in everyday moments is the starting point for cultivating gratitude. We need to turn the volume up on the ordinary. Some suggestions of how to do this include: • Write down 3 things you are grateful for. Writing has a more powerful impact than thinking alone. Choose a set time of day to encourage the habit, last thing at night and first thing in the morning are good times. This list can include the tiniest of things, such as a good cup of coffee, • Reframe your thinking throughout the day - focus on the ‘I get to’ instead of the ‘I have to’ . This can make folding the washing a little bit more enjoyable. • Gratitude Jar. Keep an old jam jar in your kitchen, make a note of what you are grateful and pop it into the jar. Encourage full family participation. Open it when its full and appreciate the moments again. • Practice saying thank you and really meaning it – say it out loud, write it in letters, in cards, in emails, in texts, in tweets. If you are stuck for inspiration during these difficult times how about turning to the lyrics of the 1979 song, Reasons to be Cheerful (part 3) by Ian Dury & the Blockheads for inspiration?. Dury wrote this song after a near-fatal accident involving a lighting roadie and the list of reasons to be cheerful include:  Buddy Holly  Equal Voting rights  Generosity & politeness  Yellow socks  Carrot juice  Wine  Elvis  Cheddar cheese & pickle sandwiches  Saying okey dokey. If psychology , neuroscience, & feelgood mugs don’t convince you of the power of gratitude –the refrain of the song just might: 'Reasons to be cheerful, one, two, three'. If that doesn’t persuade you to write down 3 things you are grateful for, I don’t know what will. Whilst we can not shy away from the bad, tolerate difficult situations, play down our fears and anxieties, speak out about our doubts & worries, or speak up against injustice, for the sake of our well-being and that of others, we must also train ourselves to pay attention to the good. Recognise the tiniest moments of joy, the things that truly matter, that which we are grateful for. Much of our time and energy is spent worrying, ruminating and focussing on potential negative threats. The past few months have been so very difficult - but let's hope we walk away with a new found gratefulness for the many things we previously took for granted. Let us keep on cultivating it. Let us refocus our priorities and appreciate the people and things we have right here, right now. I shall leave you with my list of 3 things I am grateful for today: - Potatoes - Finding a portion of chickpea curry in the freezer that I can defrost for my tea - Everyone who read to the end of my little blog. Thank you ❤

Wherever you go, there you are

Sunday 26th July 2020

The summer holidays are upon us and many of us are all broke up with nowhere to go. The dictionary defines a holiday as: a time when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel and relax. Given that travel is not on the cards for many of us, it leaves us with the option to ‘relax’. Our old limbic systems have been through the mill these last few months and absolutely need a rest. Recovering our strength is definitely what we need as individuals. communities and as a nation. It is difficult though – there is no doubt about it, whatever the reason we may find ourselves without an escape from reality to relax, rest and recover our strength. Many of us have spent so much time in our homes of late – working, home schooling, socialising online, Zoom quizzing, walking round aimlessly in circles….that the ‘staycation’ feels like a less relaxing option than it might usually. Others have had periods of intense stress and pressure working through lockdown – and without the distraction of a holiday might be finding it difficult to decompress. Staying at home makes it more difficult to escape from the external pulls on our attention – the mess, the chaos, the wallpaper that has started to peel, the messy tupperware cupboard. In short, the complete opposite of a relaxing environment. Without the change in environment it is also difficult to escape the internal pulls on our attention. The worries, the stresses the anxieties of what the next few months might bring. Holidays however are as much about the state of mind as they are the destination. Whilst a holiday can be an escape from it all, ultimately, wherever you go - there you are. Go on holiday – there you are. Stay at home – there you are. I have certainly been on holidays where I wished I could have left myself at home. A trip to Paris where I spent the whole weekend locked in a wheel of anxiety having left my two young children at home for the first time (not alone I hasten to add, that anxiety would have been wholly justifiable). A weekend camping in the Lakes, pregnant and convinced that some terrible catastrophe such as the tent blowing away or car rolling down the hill (in my defence, it was wet & steep) stopped me from sleeping for 48 hours. Relaxing, rejuvenating and free from anxiety and tension they were not. Wherever I went – there I was. Excess baggage fees applicable. Whilst there is no doubt about it, going away makes it easier to switch off, it would seem that the responsibility to benefit from a holiday in part lies with ourselves. So for those of us with nowhere to go this summer and trying our hardest to make the best of it, here are 10 top tips to help us cultivate a holidays state of mind: 1) Firstly, acceptance is needed. This isn’t the same as resignation, it is just acknowledging the situation exactly as it is. You are here. Just in case you thought you were somewhere you are not. Longing, wishing, or holding on tight to the disappointment of not going on holiday will not make this any easier. 2) A break away from routine is necessary – routine can hoodwink us into living on autopilot, missing out on things that might just spark our imagination. It is the quality of the time away from routine and the novelty that makes us feel like we are on holiday. Have toast if you usually have cereal. Watch a film in the middle of the day even if it feels like it is ‘not allowed’. Dig out your holiday wardrobe. 3) Discover and learn new things you have never done before. We process information from our senses quicker when something is familiar, so time goes quickly, which isn’t very restful. When something is new it takes our brains longer to put the information in order - thus feeling like time is elongated. Visiting new places (even just in our neighbourhood), learning new things, trying a new recipe, talking to different people, even walking in a different direction with the dog are the secrets to making time slow down this summer. 4) Engage in some mindful practices. Slow your body down: walking, eating, making a cup of tea – slow it all right down and pay focussed attention to activities and experiences. The more we focus on life, the less it will slip by us and the more joy we will find there. Look around you – pay attention to the environment – see it as it is. There is so much to appreciate. So much beauty within easy reach. 5) On the subject of mindfulness – take some time to meditate. Even for 5 minutes a day. Spend some time being in the present , away from the inner pulls on your attention. Headspace & Calm are great Apps to support you with this. 6) Take a break from social media. Some people have gone away on holiday. If you are really finding the non-holiday difficult - It is important to remember that you do have a choice in what you let filter into your attention. Perhaps a break from watching what everyone else is up to at this moment in time might be beneficial to your own state of mind. 7) Stash your work and the schoolbooks somewhere out of view – turn off the email notifications. Try and exert some control over the external pulls on your attention. 8) Engage in relaxing activities – drop the guilt! Have a bath. Spend the day reading. Walk in the park – research consistently shows being outside correlates to positive wellbeing. 9) Listen to music – cultivate your playlist, music can be a game changer in terms of how we feel. 10) Reminisce about a trip – psychological research suggests that even long after it has happened, remembering an experience can help cultivate the same feelings. Flip through your holiday photos, look at images of the location the internet. Rather than making us feel worse – this can be a really positive experience. Lyubomirsky, a positive psychologist, says this can also be accomplished by savouring the details of a trip, the sounds and the smells and sharing them with others. Go the whole hog and recreate the foods you ate. Finally, I shall leave you with the words of Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius who is reported to have said: ‘Nowhere is there a more idyllic spot , a vacation home more private and peaceful, than in one’s own mind. Take this vacation as often as you like – and so charge your spirit’. As far as TripAdvisor reviews go – that’s a 5* rating right there. So that’s my plan. This year my destination is my mind. I hope wherever you go, (or stay) you take the present with you, leave behind the past and put the future on hold for just a short while. Julie x (Holiday is a state of mind. Drawing by Luke Hockley)

This is me

Friday 17th July 2020

Welcome to my first official blog post on my new website! Firstly, a big thanks to Sarah-May Gould for her talent and patience in creating this site for me. Despite having written lots of posts over on my Facebook page for the last 2 years, I suddenly felt enormous pressure to pitch this perfectly. After several failed attempts, my 12 year old wandered in the room and said - just tell them who you are and what you do. Children can be very wise. My name is Julie and I live in a small town in the north east of England. My journey into psychology started 29 years ago with my degree (I just had to work that out and got a serious shock, I thought I was still only 30). After graduating, I went onto work in marketing for 2 years, before coming back to psychology and heading into the world of teaching post 16 learners, where I have been for the last 24 years. Whilst I had enjoyed my degree and love teaching it, I had always thought that psychology should be delivered in a way that everyone could benefit – that this knowledge shouldn’t be the sole preserve of academic study. Students validate this on a regular basis, telling me that ‘everyone should know this stuff’. I agree and so ‘the MIND less FULL’ was born. My aim was to bring psychology to a wider audience – one that didn’t necessarily want to study it as a qualification or to pass an exam. So, first and foremost, the MIND less FULL was born as a vehicle to share ‘stuff’ about being human, through social media and running workshops in the community and workplace. When we have a greater understanding of human behaviour it can make us more accepting and compassionate, both to ourselves and others. It can also inspire us learn new ways of being and motivate change. This blog has been created in the hope I can continue to do this, sharing psychological research and theories about human behaviours to a wider audience. Most of my current work focuses on stress management and it is the most requested workshop that I deliver. Stress, whilst I am keen not to demonise it entirely, is causing us problems. Life has changed so much, particularly over the last few months, and the human brain has responded in the only way it knows how – to go into survival mode. With this survival response comes a whole range of unwanted emotions, feelings, thoughts, physical and behavioural responses. Learning to manage the stress response is the goal of so many people I work with. Whilst not a counsellor or a therapist, I am also keen to share ways in which people can look after their own psychological wellbeing. We are taught from a very young age the foundations of how to keep ourselves physically well – exercise, fresh air, water, balanced diet – but we are still way behind in terms of information about how to keep ourselves psychologically fit and well. This is where my love for Mindfulness comes in. Whilst not the only way by any means – it has a lot to offer in terms of inexpensive, effective and simple techniques that we can use in our daily life. The benefits of mindfulness is supported by 1000’s of research papers and I have benefitted from practicing so much - I am keen to share what it has to offer with others. So, to point you in the right direction: • If you are interested in reading regular posts about a whole host of human behaviours, with the occasional guest blogger – then sign up with your email address on the blog page. • I am open to suggestions for blog content, so if you would like to read more about a particular human behaviour, then feel free to email me: themindlessfull@gmail.co.uk • If you are a fan of social media then you can follow ‘The MIND less FULL’ on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter (although I am seriously NOT a great tweeter yet – be patient). Links are on the Contact page • If Stress Management & Mindfulness is of interest then you might want to join our Facebook community group ‘A mind less stressed’ . Whether your stressors have been induced or compounded by the pandemic or are non-Covid related – then this is a place to be part of a community group to share and learn about ways you can manage the emotions, thoughts and behaviours that stress brings. I will also appear live in this group from time to time, set mini-mindfulness challenges and post regularly. Join the group on 'the MIND less FULL' Facebook page • Finally – this is NOT a selling post – but if you are interested in joining me in a workshop or fancy holding your own with friends or in your workplace – then details can be found on the Workshops page. I have plans to hold lots of on-line sessions in the coming months so keep your eyes peeled on social media for further information. And that’s it. That’s me and that is 'the MIND less FULL’. I look forward to interacting with you sharing the things that go through my head. Love Julie x PS: I have done some collaboration work with 2 lovely local crafts people – their items are available to buy in my little shop and aim to inspire daily mindful practice. PPS: I promise that my blog posts will not feature lots of pictures of me. My daughters think it is a bit weird.

Mindfulness

Tuesday 4th February 2020

Often our thoughts can take us down rabbit holes. We get caught up in blame, self-criticism, re-hashing "if only I had done/said ....". Re-living painful memories again and again. Practicing Mindfulness techniques allows us to become more aware of the traffic of our thoughts and feelings that we experience and to see how we can become entangled in that traffic in ways that are not helpful. Mediation encourages us to sit with the traffic rather than running into it and being carted off by a juggernaut. It teaches us to bring awareness to thoughts and recognise when we are getting caught up in them. Another useful exercise is a 'brain dump' - writing down all the thoughts and worries can bring an awareness to them and reduce some of their power. Circling the worries we can control can help us to find ways to deal with them more productively - and those we can't, viewed with an acceptance that we need to let them go. Perhaps by stepping back from the negative thoughts we might just make room for the beautiful, glorious, joyful, creative thoughts to step forth.